Why are YOU stabbing Caesar?
Mistook him for a salad
He owes me 20 sesterces
Truth or Dare game gone horribly wrong
I thought candy would come out
Pontius Aquila said I could
He keeps flirting with my mom
Needed somewhere to store my dagger
To make that cute quaestor notice me
He just ran into my knife, ten times
Needed to get my cardio in today
Wait, this is a knife? SHIT
Misunderstood how life insurance works
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